Carolyn, this is for you. Something for you to help in your Chemistry XD
(This is veeeery educational indeed) :D
This post doesn’t have to mean anything to anyone.
I swear to myself, I’ll make you proud. I’ll do whatever it takes to realise my dream no matter what you say about me that’ll bring me down. I don’t care what you say, I don’t care what others say. It’s what I want that matters, and despite me being physically weak, I know I’m not mentally weak. If you die before I reach that point in my life, I’ll resurrect you, and I’ll bodily drag you out, and show to your face what I’ve achieved. I’l tell you that you never got to achieve what you wanted in your life, and that is one of the many reasons why you always love to put me down. I’ll tell it to your face; I’ll enunciate each and every word with fervour, each stab of truth pouring from my lips and into my voice. I’ll tell you about all that you’ve wanted me to be in your life, and I’ll take the pleasure as I see those emotions across your expression. I’m sick, twisted, in that moment, but you’ve never taught me to feel otherwise. To be normal.
(Thanks Cin… let’s go there to cry together.)
“Your flu is much too serious for even Vitamin C’s to help to heal it at this stage.”
:O
I went to the doctor yesterday night and he prescribed me the same paracetamol pills, tiny yellow pills and antibiotics, but when I requested Vitamin C pills that was his response. -shrug- Am I going to die now?
I notice I get sick a lot. I remember having gotten a fever just a month ago, and now I feel another bout of fever and flu and sore throat tugging at my body yet again. It doesn’t make me feel at peace at all.
Right now I’m in the middle of Science class, and my group is discussing about carbon-hydrogen bonds, something I’ve quite fancied in Chemistry classes in the past. To be honest I’ve aced quite well on this particular topic as well but now my mind is far too frazzled to think about C-H bonds, hydrocarbons and homologous series. So pardon me if I sound quite monotonous in this particular post – writing a bit helps me to take the edge off my nerves. A form of escapism, if I could say that.
A classmate of mine told me the best way to recover from an illness and to boost my immune system is to take vitamins, but my failure-as-a-doctor has always prescribed me tiny yellow pills, some paracetamol and antibiotics, but never vitamins. Mon Dieu, now I’m confused, but hopefully, taking vitamins would help me a bit.
Yesterday was shit, in my honest opinion. The lesson itself wasn’t so bad since we were taught by a really nice facilitator. School actually ended at 4.30pm but I had a workshop which ended at 6.30, and I believe I reached home at 8.30, which is not that bad when you read it like this. However this damned illness is tugging at my very veins, and it has caused me to be so very delirious and unfocused as ever. I remember yesterday’s drawing workshop with me being so out of it that even my drawing skills were affected. I wonder what will happen in today’s workshop with me being like this?
My head is still throbbing now from illness but I’m still writing, keys tap-tapping away, oblivious to what this Science facilitator is talking about and to today’s lesson… I just cannot find it in myself to halt and to take a deep breath. Hm, what other topics have I avoided this past week or so? Yes, I believe I have to give a notice for my two ongoing fictions, Blood of the Snake and the other still unnamed. I still am in the process of re-editing Chapter 24. I love that chapter to bits but the ending part, the scene between Cadmus and Ban is just too disjointed. I wrote it when feeling delirious as well, and since I have no beta reader as of yet, it is still a draft piece. In fact all of Blood of the Snake now is a draft since no one has edited anything for me yet.
So if Blood of the Snake chapter 24 is still in the works, it means that chapter 26 hasn’t even been started on yet. Yes, I apologise, my lovely readers, but you have to understand my current situation now. I’m not in the right frame of mind even though I have all the intention in the world to complete Blood of the Snake, give it an absolution, a finality and a closure unlike all those other writers out there. I am not quite like them; everyone is different and I am.
The next fiction is about my original character Cadmus Baptiste, the vampire who is seducing Ban and Ginji into the darkness. It can be found here: http://rtrlctrc.livejournal.com/4942.html
Cadmus is a tormented creature of the darkness. This fiction will be in his perspective, personal and so very him unlike Blood of the Snake which is only written in third person view. I feel that writing third person view is somewhat detached and that it doesn’t delve deep into the character’s emotions. It is a challenge, however, writing in first person – and this is what I want to challenge myself to do in this particular fiction.
Cadmus will meet Lestat, another creature of the darkness, a vampire who seems to have gotten the answers that all immortals crave in their life which lasts for all eternity. Cadmus, a vagabond Grecian vampire before meeting Ban and Ginji, craves those answers. He has the perception that Ban and Ginji might give some meaning to his long life, if he gifts them with immortality. He however, questions himself whether they could accept this gift without regrets and live as he did for the past three centuries. He then meets Lestat, the vampire who kills only evildoers, one of the Coven of the Articulate.
This is the whole gist of the fiction. But for now, I think I’ll just sit back and rest for a moment, whilst listening to some Massive Attack.
In no particular order.
1. Write a book and publish it
2. Make my own animation series and air it on Singapore TV channels, and if possible overseas as well
3. Touch a 1978 Rolls Royce Shadow 2
4. Own an iMac
5. Meet Liam and Noel Gallagher and shake their hands
6. Graduate with a Bachelor’s degree
7. Learn how to drive a car like a pro
8. Admit my Agnosticism to my parents
9. Travel all around the world, literally
10. See my abang (older brother) get married, but I don’t know about myself
11. Learn a foreign language
12. Meet Lee Kuan Yew and shake his hand
13. Teach my mum how to use a laptop computer (Yes, the picture is my laptop model)
14. Learn how to cook Malay cuisine from my mother (mmm asam pedas)
15. Adopt an orphan if I’m in my 30’s and I still haven’t married yet
Ah. Then I think I can really die. :D
