I can take care of myself, can’t I. After all, I am a young, strong and robust (and not very small-sized either) young woman, with a strength one can rarely find with other females my age. So why is it my parents have to worry so much about my well-being and safety when I just want to go out and do some harmless cycling, with no one to follow me? I am an independent individual, after all. I don’t need someone to babysit me, FFS, I am nearing sixteen, but I look (and also think) much older than that. Tell me, do I sound old? I think mature would be the right word, am I right? What am I to do with all these useless pent-up energy, if I were to comply with the rules my parents give me? Sit on my arse and do some meaningless revision? Or mince like a prat? That would further infuriate them. How am I to concentrate when my mind is looking to do something which makes me sweat?
Nevertheless, that was nice, just walking around aimlessly as if with no purpose, and talking about every topic under the sun, with that particular sexy person. I love the way her lips move to form each syllable sensually, the slow and seductive sway of her hips as she walks. Not to mention the little jiggle of her breasts as she nods excitedly, and that cute grin which never fails to make my lips form a small smirk of its own. Hm, wasn’t I lucky to call her when two of my friends turned down my offer of going out to the mall, the beach or whatever. For the next time I go out with her, I’m scheming to go to the beach, so I can ogle her wet, delicious and lithe form playing with the waters, and who knows, play with me next? *little smirk* Hm, I should stop getting so graphic, because who knows probably a teacher, or possibly a cousin would stumble upon these writings and condemn me for my sexuality. (No, I’m not a lesbian. Boys are an interesting species too.)
But after all, if I do look for a relationship with either that sexy thing or the other, it would only serve to distract me more. And I do not need any more distractions. Let the feelings simmer and exist only to burn and build up in my being. I don’t quite care. I am after all, self-dependent. I don’t need a significant other to make me feel complete. These things can wait until the end of October, after all of the responsibilities are over and done with. It is only that my mind cannot help but wander, sometimes.
Here I am, grinning impishly – albeit tiredly as well – for I have some spare free time taken off as I skipped my Art class, not that it’s going to do me any harm, or whatever – that I’m fairly certain about. I’ve completed quite a bit of my painting, you see. So I thought it might be nice to slack off for a bit. Some well-deserved me time after such a frivolous week, no? And also, I keep getting distracted by certain sexy (it should be illegal!) people around me, and you know how it is.
Sleep sounds so much like a good idea to me now. I think I’ m going to do that right now… hm yes my bed is calling out to me.
I can’t wait for 6 June.
Ok, even though I for sure know that I’m not going to do quite that well for the particular paper, one can still dream and wish, can’t they? So, a few hours after the (sickening) exam, Yuxin and I went to eat at the school’s nearby coffee shop for a while, then there was the Parent Teacher Conference thingamajig in which both of my parents attended (gabra betul seh) *rolls eyes* and Mr Yeong said certain positive things to my parents like “Vivi is a very disciplined student” etc etc. :) So yeah, thank you Mr Yeong. For making this thingamajig a little bit bearable.
I went to Bedok Reservoir for an hour of cycling. I’ve forgotten how awesome (orgasmic) cycling can be. I’ve not cycled for a few months and I was a bit “rusty” for a moment there but everything went quite smoothly. It was especially hypnotic listening to DJ Paul Oakenfold’s Silence (Yes, I know what you’re thinking esp. Sarah “What the fuck since when does Vivi listen to trance dance music??”), well, I’m branching out La.
Yeah I was listening to Goldfrapp just now. And the Anne Rice book below the playah is just fo’ sho’.
I’m not high, I just need those fucking Eye Mo thingies.
Two more days, less than 48 hours left to MT O Levels. I’m fucked.
Maaf kerana saya mahu memberi pendapat saya dalam Bahasa Melayu. Dengan cara ini sahaja saya boleh meluahkan perasaan geram saya terhadap segelintir orang dari alam Internet ini. Bagi kamu yang faham bahasa ini, tahniahlah. Saya rasa geram kerana ramai orang memberi pendapat yang begitu merepek ke dalam ruangan ini. Suka hati sayalah kalau saya hendak megatakan bahawa seseorang itu memang kacak, dan lain-lain lagi. Mereka tidak perlu memberi pendapat mereka jika mereka tidak bersetuju dengan pendapat saya. Terpulanglah kepada saya, apa yang mahu saya katakan!
Hanya yang saya harap, “rakan-rakan” (yang identiti sebenarnya juga saya tidak tahu) yang saya kenali dari alam siber ini tidak memberi alamat ruang siber saya ini kepada rakan dari sekolah mereka dan yang faham bahasa ini; dan akhirnya mereka juga dapat tahu pendapat saya ini yang ditulis dalam bahasa ibunda saya. Mereka akan menolong mengalih bahasa dan akhirnya “rakan-rakan siber” saya akan faham maksud yang saya hendak melafazkan. Bukannya saya seorang pengecut kerana tidak mahu menuliskan pendapat ini dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Tidak, ia lebih jauh daripada itu.
Kalau kamu dari golongan ini, saya pasti kamu semua terasa hairan dan mungkin malu mahu memberitahu rakan kamu itu apa yang saya telah katakan ini. Saya ini berfikiran terbuka, tidak mengapa (Bagi saya. Tetapi bagi kamu, apa?). Saya tahu penulisan saya dalam bahasa ini tidak begitu fasih dan lancar. Itu terpulanglah kepada pendapat kamu. Apa yang saya hiraukan, betul?
Saya hanya sekadar memberi pendapat. Tiap-tiap orang mempunyai pendapat mereka yang masing-masing. Jadi, kita tidak boleh mengubah apa yang mereka fikirkan, kerana alam siber ini terbuka luas untuk sesiapa sahaja untuk menulis apa yang terlintas di fikiran mereka. Saya tidak akan mengubah fikiran saya hanya kerana segelintir orang yang tidak bersetuju dengan pendapat saya ini. Suka atau tidak suka, saya adalah saya. Mereka harus menerima kenyataan ini.
Selamat malam, rakan-rakanku. Semoga kamu semua tidur dengan nyenyak dan tidak diganggu iblis. Bukannya saya mempercayai semua itu. Kamu faham-faham sahajalah penggambaran saya ini.
